My Dad

I meant to post this before i left to come up here but i thought i would post it anyway. The surgery was today and it didn’t go too well they were unable to remove the tumor….

I decided with the new year I will attempt to not hold anything back from my blog. So, here goes…Life has been pretty rough recently. My dad has been diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. This means that it has spread to other organs other than his colon. There is a surgery planned for Wednesday morning to remove the major tumor in his colon. I’ve been trying to keep my thoughts positive. I know my dad is strong and will fight through this but I can tell he is scared, I think mostly of the surgery, but him being scared, scares the hell out of me. He is retired military and to say, growing up, he was a hard-ass is an understatment He has always been the “strong solider” to me. It’s extremely painful to see that he has lost so much weight in the past month but he seems to still be in good spirits. He still has that hardened exterior, which makes me smile. If you ask him how he is, for the most part he responds “i’m fine”. Even though i try to keep from having negative thoughts, i can’t help think that i should have spent more time with him. The sunday dinners we used to have when i was in college, i should have stayed longer, i should have stayed longer over the holidays, etc… It’s also made me wonder if he knows how much he means to me and how much who he is has influenced who i am. I’m sure he knows that i love him but have i done enough. It’s made me think about this in regards to my wife. I know she knows I love her but have I really done enough to show her? I need to remind myself that there is still time. I can make sure that I show the people that are most important to me how they mean the world to me.